to the love of my life,
hello, my dear. my darling. my honey. I hope this letter finds you well. I hope you've met obstacles along the way but nothing that you haven't been able to overcome. because one day, you are going to be for someone the person who puts the stars in the sky. the person who doesn't shy away from the hard parts of a relationship. the person whose smile makes the mondays feel like fridays.
and I hope that when we meet, it is like coming in with the rain. because I've spent hours (too many if I had to guess) wondering how we'll meet and what I'll have picked to wear for the day and whether the start of our epic love story will be a quiet integration into one another's lives or a loud encounter and a dramatic, hollywood soul gaze. wondering if we'll listen to the same music or if you'll introduce me to a world of unknown lyrics. fantasizing that you're exactly like chris evans and michael b. jordan but also that you shatter my expectations in the best of ways.
because baby, the love I'm gonna give you is going to smother you like your grandmother's cheap flowery perfume (I spent many minutes arguing with myself over whether or not to edit this line out). I am going to debate the infinity of the universe with you and dance with you in the kitchen at midnight to "you're the one that I want." I am going to scout out the local coffee places and independent bookshops for us wherever we go. I am going to make you indulge in a harry potter marathon with me and use your shoulder to wipe tears when dobby dies. I am going to kiss you every day with the love you deserve. I am going to make sure that you don't go a day for the rest of your life without knowing how much I adore you. in your victories and your setbacks, from the baggage to the goodies. what's yours is mine.
you've given me an irreplaceable gift simply by being you. and what I wouldn't give to hear your voice at the end of a long day, piled high with the weight of expectation and the responsibility I so naïvely craved as a teenager. what I wouldn't give to acquaint myself with your fears and your doubts, to let them know that I am a fighter and I will fight for you always. what I wouldn't give to be the reason you smile after a hard day at work. to be the tether that reminds you of your humanness but also of your potential for greatness. what I wouldn't give to be your reminder of how much you are loved. not just by me (though my love for you spans oceans), but by your family and your friends. what I wouldn't give to wince at your horribly off-beat shower concert performances, to hear you not taking yourself too seriously. and then to join you (mhm). what I wouldn't give to thank you for the good you've done me and for being the most lovely embodiment of selflessness and acceptance.
when we meet, however we meet, it is going to be unlike anything either of us could have prepared for. because you'll be you with your oddball quirks and maybe you'll be the kind of person who puts ketchup on his eggs, but that's okay because I'm the kind of person who puts ketchup on her mac and cheese. maybe you'll like crocs, but my appreciation for athleisure will balance us out. I'll steal fries from your plate and I'll make you watch rom-coms with me (only the good ones), but I'll also happily offer you a bite of my ice cream and sleep on your shoulder when you switch to the discovery channel. there will be days when you're off your game, but I promise to love you through them and to never hold them against you if you promise the same.
I don't know you yet, but god, I can't wait for the day I do. to see that the years spent working up the nerve to smile at cute guys and stubbornly refusing to join any dating site and living vicariously through romance movies were well worth it. to know that you arrived in my life exactly when we were both ready. to love so wholly and to be loved so wholly that I am reminded once more how the world can be so beautiful.
so here's to the arguments whose butts we'll kick and to the hot dates we'll enjoy. to all the places on the map we'll put pins in and to every lazy sunday we'll spend together. here's to the adversity we'll overcome and the struggles and joys we'll share in becoming parents. to the late nights spent binging parks & rec and the heated debate over which hemsworth brother is more attractive. here's to somehow learning something new about one another every day, and to somehow loving a little harder every day. to deciding on a name for our first kitten and to baby-proofing all the dangerous corners in our house. here's to the dozens of girl scout thin mint boxes we'll buy and the scholastic book fairs we'll basically own stock in. to the late evenings over cheap champagne and to our first down payment on a house. here's to the adventure of growing old together and to the fondness that will never grow old. to raising a middle finger to the awfulness of the world and to being a beacon of light and love as we face it head-on together. to loving as hard as we can and to building a beautiful life for ourselves.
I cannot wait to meet you. I like to imagine that it will feel something like warm apple cider on a cold day and your first visit home from your freshman year of college and a hug from your grandparents all wrapped in one. because you're gonna walk into my life and I'm not going to know what to do with myself. then again, I'm only 17 so I think I have some time until then to figure it out. for now, I hope you love hard and go through growing pains. I hope you fall hard but that you get back up again. I hope you try hard in school and devote yourself to things that get you fired up. because there's a girl out there in the world who's gonna look at you once day like you contain a multitude of stars in your eyes (whole galaxies, even) and the world's sweetest honey on your lips. Thinking of you now and giving you all my 11:11s, four-leaf clovers, and shooting stars.
your lobster,
kate x
Kommentarer