this one goes out to the lights of my life.
this is long overdue. for all the uninhibited laughs and the late nights high on good food and even better company, I owe so much of my happiness to you. so much of who I am and who I aim to become. so much of the joy that brings sunshine to my cloudy days.
I could write a harry potter-length novel about the ways you've made my life brighter simply by being yourselves. prologue and epilogue. because no amount of words would do justice all the furtive glances across the classroom, unprompted laughter, whispered confessions, evenings spent talking about nothing and everything, beautiful moments of vulnerability, the daydreaming, summer days wasted away under the sun, overstuffed bowls of ice cream, quiet moments spent in comfortable silence, investments in overpriced coffee, comedic relief at the lunch table between stressful classes. you lovely people are my break in the storm and the rainbow that signifies that the worst of it is over. you have hearts as pure as my love for timothée chalamet, and I am so proud and so privileged to know that you will go even further out into the world one day than you already have and leave you-sized impressions wherever you go.
for all the good you offer to us, to random passersby, to your loved ones, to those with whom you exchange a brief hello on your morning commute--you deserve the world. and yet somehow, I don't think you always see that. I see it every day. and it makes every part of me fill with such immense gratitude and admiration for you. for the kindness you hand out like candy. for the compassion you extend like a fifth limb. for the good-humoredness you treat like second nature. for the at once soft and unapologetic acceptance you show like amy march might quietly display one of her beautiful paintings. and what's more, you accept me for who I am. for all my stubbornness, incessant questions, and awful dad jokes, you see me for who I am-- and what's more, you see me for who I might become. you advocate for me, yet you're always ready to meet me where I am in my journey, too. so thank you for making me feel held. held in love. in sincerity. in honesty and good spirits. you all are the loveliest set of human beings I have the privilege of knowing so well. I can only hope that there are parts of you reflected in me. because if I could borrow even a bit of your crazy smartness, your passion, or your sexy confidence, I might just become america's new most eligible bachelorette (take THAT, hannah b).
truly, you're crown jewels. the ease with which you laugh at an off comment. the openness with which you greet new experiences. the total knack for making people feel seen and heard. I am the most blessed gal in the world because of family and friends like you. and I know you don't always see yourselves in the ways I do, but I hope that you make only enough space in your life for those who see you this way and who work their asses off to remind you of it.
the part that comes after we graduate is a little bit daunting. everything is up in the air. our horizons couldn't be spotted with the world's most powerful telescope and yet nothing is guaranteed either. we've spent our entire lives working toward one goal, and we're so close that I can almost picture us walking across the stage and turning our tassels. but now what? life's winding path is going to spread us across the country and lead us to success that reminds us why we do what we do, to disappointment and heartache that will break us only so that we can begin to fill ourselves up again. it will lead us to new friends and lots of growth. and it will probably lead us farther and farther away from each other as we dive into our majors and explore a life outside of chesterton. we'll start families if that's what we want, and we'll get promotions and we'll celebrate anniversaries. some of us will become facebook friends and nothing more. but I hope with everything I have that you all remain a part of my life, the people who would be the only reason I'd repeat high school. for all your killer smarts and your compassion that flows so easily and your ability to give my rainiest days the brightest rainbows and your capacity to hold space for me to be my honest self. for your gentleness with my dreams and my fears. for your willingness to embark on any adventure. for your ability to give without expecting anything in return. for all the sarcastic side comments and the hilarity that makes our stomachs ache from laughter. for your sunshine smiles that could light up any room and for all you have to contribute to a world that is in desperate need of your unique perspective and talent and intellect.
the world often tries to rob us of simple joys, but I have been so immensely (almost unfathomably) blessed. even more than the roof over my head or the books I get to read every day, our friendships mean more to me than any of my words will ever be able to convey. you all are the most wonderful people, and wherever life's path leads you, the world will be better for it. I hope you find happiness and success and fulfillment because you owe it to yourself. I hope you find a special someone who deserves you and makes you feel sexy and who can give the coziest hugs after a long day at work and help you realize your potential and cry with you during the sad parts of movies. I hope you adopt a foster dog or cat and treat him/her like your own child. I hope you forge your own way and learn to make the best out of what you're given and live life without regrets, and I hope that if you're ever missing someone, you pick up the damn phone and give 'em a call. I hope you do something good for the world, and I hope you never lose the passion you had in your youth. I hope you find a good town to raise your kids in, and I hope you find the patience to cut off the crusts for them. I hope you find content in retirement and I hope you never grow tired of the person you wake up next to every morning. I hope you dance to good music and chase your dreams even if you're 50 and haven't written that book yet or run that marathon yet. I hope that one day, when we are 80 years old, and we're all looking at our old photo albums in different cities across the country, we look at the 17 year olds we once were (and are now)--free of all the weight and wisdom we'll carry at 80--and won't be able to help but smile and cry a small tear for the youth we took by the reigns and the fond memories we made for ourselves.
thank you for being my confidantes, the other halves of our carride concerts, the willing participants in our crazy antics, the cheerleaders of my lofty ambitions, the protectors of my dreams, and the people with whom I have shared some of my favorite experiences and most precious memories. cheers to whatever our futures hold...may we be there to lift each other up along the way.
with love that could orbit the sun forever,
kate x
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