to the kind gentleman who held open the door for me at the gas station, and the cashier who went a little beyond her protocol and really meant it when she wished me a good day, and the grumpy truck driver who was tailing my butt on meridian, and the passerby on the sidewalk who spared me a brief smile--this is for you.
a few weeks ago, I finished one of the best books I'd read in a while. "call me by your name" is its title, and it left me feeling overflowing and at once significantly lacking. the story unfolds on the tranquil seaside of the mediterranean, and that alone is enough to lull readers into a sense of unbroken serenity. but the characters are what make the story. the rawness and candidness with which the story is told is mesmerizing, and the language is like honey spoken from the author's lips meant for you and you alone. the unfolding of adolescence. the vulnerability it takes to wear one's heart on his (and her) sleeve. the ease with which two people in love find themselves completely at home with the other. the intoxicating passion that can be contained in the gentlest kiss. the tenderness of first love. the pain that comes with realizing that perhaps you are not who you've always believed yourself to be. and then the soaring, liberating sensation that comes with accepting this truth, your truth. the improbabilities of what happens to each of us actually happening. the seemingly insignificant--a brief glance dripped in affection, a light hand on the lower back, receiving a cup of coffee just the way you like it because someone has taken the time to memorize you--becoming the reason events unfold the way they do.
this book charmed me, and what's more, it made me fall in love all over again with the sway that words have over us and the power that we give to them. see, I believe that sticks, stones, and words can break a person's bones. I believe that it is convenient and frictionless to convince ourselves that this isn't true, to hide behind such a façade. and I believe that some of us have to believe it isn't true, because we might break if we do. but the great poets and philosophers, the regular attendees of poetry slams and the concert junkies, the linguaphiles and the frequenters of book shops would disagree. words have staying power. if given, they have enough strength behind them to completely ruin someone's day or to make someone's day. to reach out and shake you. to douse you in cold water. to reflect your own emotions and sentiments. to bring into existence ideas--belonging to you or completely new to you--that you didn't know could be verbalized. to slap you in the face. to chastise you for not doing better. words can hurt and they can heal, and I think a lot of us forget this as we go about our days. dismissal and feigned nonchalance are tactics we use to shrug off uneasiness and to get out of the difficult conversations. and it hurts. it hurts because indirectly, you're being told you're not worthy of another person's time. but you are, because you have interesting opinions and keen observations and clever jokes and unique experiences. you're worth a whole lot of time.
I hope you held a little bit of this truth in yourself already, but I also hope that my words help to strengthen this truth. I hope that they encourage you to go out into the world and do something kind. something that will make someone smile. something, even, maybe, that someone carries with them through the darker days. I hope you listen to yourself as you speak. I hope you understand the importance of your own thoughts and the added significance should you choose to express them. I hope you see how impactful you can be, and so I hope the next time a friend asks you for advice, you answer sincerely; and the next time you like someone's outfit, you offer a compliment; and the next time you see in the news that tragedy has struck, you do more than send your thoughts and prayers. I hope you think carefully before you speak, but not so carefully that it taints the sincerity behind your words. I hope you feel empowered to push against the current, to create discomfort in your life so that you feel moved to do something different. and like week-old new years champagne, I hope you do all you can to escape a life that has lost all its fuzz.
so take care of yourself. be kind to your body and show your reflection some love. look after your heart and your mind, because those can bruise easily. but be receptive to new experiences and even to a little pain, because with pain comes growth. speak your truth and use your voice to lift others up. note the way someone sits a little taller when you compliment them, but equally the way someone deflates when a backhanded comment hits its target. if you are to follow one cliché for the day, let it be this one: be the reason someone goes home smiling.
with today's political unrest and the tabloids that are always the first to something, the desensitized media and the overly-sensitive public, the chunky fila economy and the controversial production of cats, there is a lot coming at you. as nightmare becomes reality in australia and as our government neglects broken families at mexico's border, entire lifetimes can be brought bursting forth, or, just as likely, they can be torn away from existence entirely. because of this, we must learn to use our words, to love unabashedly, to cherish the moments in between.
take the time to notice the profundity of the way the sun rises in the morning and casts shadows through your window curtains, the brief eye contact held with someone you admire, a conversation with a stranger, the way the starbucks barista calls out your coffee order, the driver who waves you across on your morning jog. let simple moments touch your heart. trust your intuition, let love be your guide in all that you do, and know that I am here, a stranger in passing--and I am rooting for you.
from mine to yours,
kate x
Lovely writing, so true