Hi there, lovely people! It's been too long and I've been craving that honey feeling of putting pen to paper (in this case, metaphorically). Writing for me is like exhaling after holding my breath for days. It's like finally descending from the climax of a suspenseful novel, or taking a mental walk through the woods to compile my thoughts. Here are some of them:
There is an old story about a man who was sitting in his garden house, contemplating his life. While wallowing in self-doubt and pity, he became suddenly and acutely aware of the beauty of the flowers surrounding him. He saw at once that they were glowing and independent and each works of art. He proceeded to reach out his hand to pick one of the flowers and cut his finger on a thorn-bearing stem. The man went inside to wash his hand, all the while staring out at his garden house. He began to think...how much pain it must take for a flower to grow with its thorns, but still manage to look beautiful and bring others happiness.
When I heard this story, I smiled at its simple savoriness. But I have since come to realize that it reflects a part of me; it resonates so well with where I am in my journey now. I began to apply this man's story to my life and this next part is a compilation of the wild-grown thoughts that ensued //
It is far too easy a decision to lose ourselves amidst the rushing noises and persistent chaos of life. We are constantly faced with a barrage of challenges. Passing a difficult test. Impressing important people. Saying the right thing. Meeting a deadline. Not disappointing. Living up to people's expectations. Loving people just right. Finding a way to be ourselves in a world that is so often screaming conformity. It's exhausting. It's so much simpler to take life as it comes. To accept criticism and new information. To meet negativity in the middle, with grace and compassion.
You will always discover a way to conquer your mountains if you tackle the climb in a way that feels right for you. We cannot grow a pair of wings and soar to the top. We cannot close our eyes and wish hard enough to find ourselves standing at the top looking down. And perhaps we are only human, but human is one heck of a thing to be if you ask me. There is nothing that we cannot do, or create, or be. Simply because the buds have not blossomed yet does not mean that they never will. Practice patience and perseverance. Be the captain of your own life. Use your strengths to help others. It is so easy to get swept up in your fear and insecurities, to get lost in your own mind.
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Since my little girlhood, my dad has been feeding me one piece of wisdom on a loop. When I stumble, or begin to lose sight of who I am, or allow myself to fall into a pattern of comparison, he tells me this: tend your own garden. Oftentimes, he'll tell me this and I'll cast it aside as just another one of his turns of phrase, but I've recently grown (pun intended) fond of its meaning. I decided to do a little digging to unearth (another pun) its origin. I found Voltaire, a French Enlightenment writer and philosopher famous for his many witty works, responsible for this lovely little idiom my dad has coined as his own. Upon witnessing horrifying acts of religious intolerance and political oppression (hey, what's new), he concluded that the best course of action for all is to simply settle down, live peacefully, and make a living. Now, granted, this is easier said than done. We are all guilty of comparing ourselves to the faces and accomplishments of others. Training ourselves to focus only on our personal improvement and betterment is by no means a 30-minute exercise. It takes energy, patience, commitment, and self-respect as does any other goal. And like any goal, there will be days when you fall short of the expectations to which you hold yourself. Welcome such setback with open arms, for these are the teaching moments. The moments in which you can choose to either nurture your dreams or let them die. It is what you do between the harvest seasons that determines who you are and will become as a person. Sometimes you will encounter failure. But oftentimes you will succeed. Always you will learn.
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To tend your own garden is to show yourself the love and compassion you deserve. To cultivate your dreams. To breathe life into new ideas and creative pursuits. To plant roots. To provide your soul with the perspective and time away it needs every once in a while. You cannot afford to expend energy worrying about others' gardens. You have your own seeds to plant. Weeds to uproot (so. many. weeds.). Ripe tomatoes to pick. You have enough on your hands. A good kind of enough—the kind that keeps you on your feet and with a thirst for life and success—but enough all the same. It is not your responsibility to be overly concerned with the upkeep of others' gardens. This doesn't mean that you have to ignore others'. It simply means that you worry less and care more. Perhaps even find ways to help their gardens bloom.
It would be easy to peer over your neighbor's fence and do some quick sizing-up. It would be easy to evaluate all the differences and decide whose looks prettier, but you simply have better things to do. And you understand, because you, yourself, have been tending to a garden of your very own, just how much time and energy and dirt-stained fingernails go into cultivating a beautiful garden. Any and all growth is an achievement worth celebrating (perhaps even the weeds, because there are lessons to be learned from challenge). So go ahead, peer over the fence and allow yourself a brief glimpse of the garden that is not yours—but appreciate it in a way that only a fellow gardener can.
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Be yourself and allow others to react as they may. Take care of yourself, and you will begin to witness a magnificent change in your very own life. A seed of transformation and of understanding has been planted in your heart and only you can nourish it. Let it bloom and let your garden become a wild, overgrown, messy, raw, beautiful representation of your life. And maybe, just maybe, after you have shown yourself plenty of lovin' and gratitude and effort, you can become a living example that reminds others to tend to their gardens. A living example that inspires others. You can no longer be ignored. You leave a lasting impression on all those with whom you interact. You are exactly where you need to be in this moment.
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Release all your expectations. Step outside and bask in the vast openness of what could be...and then...Make it be. Wherever you are. Whatever you are feeling. Deep breath. Yea hunny, you got this. Cultivate the heck out of your life. Shower love on the seeds of your ideas. Nurture your mind, body, and soul. Don't worry so much about how pretty you look next to the others' gardens (guaranteed you are just as pretty). Because no matter what you find yourself going through, it will bloom.
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