It's that time of year again—time to reflect and bid adieu to another twelve months gone by in the blink of an eye. It's almost (but never quite) funny how fast the year gets ahead of me. It's all too easy to lose myself shoulder-deep in the chaos and noise of life, trudging through static routine—and I think it's safe to say that most people fall into this tendency alongside me. But once every year, we all take a collective step back and reflect on the past twelve months. And it hits us. An entire year ran right under our noses and we were holding on by a whisker.
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I've come to realize that my years never go quite as planned, but they always get me to where I need to be. I have grown and evolved and felt more than 2017 me could have ever imagined for herself. It's kind of incredible the way life unfolds for you when you step out from behind the driver's seat and let your intuition be your guide. We're all trying our best, but life tends to demand more than we think we can give.
I had this idea a few days ago to address various topics that I think it's fair to say we all struggle with (present company included). Perhaps not every concept will apply to you. Perhaps none of them will. But if I can reach even one heart? Well, that would be marvelous. The words that follow are from my heart. They will be messy and oxymoronic, real and raw. Such is life.
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KINDNESS - pay it forward
I think the greatest thing we can do in this life is be kind. In a world diseased with hatred and cruelty, kindness is its saving grace. We cannot escape the fact that what we do every day has a massive impact on the lives of those around us. We have to wake up and decide what kind of impact it is that we want to make. Kindness is something I think we can all get behind. Kindness is holding the door for the person behind you. It's spotting a coffee for a stranger who's just a few cents short. It's going to the beach and cleaning up the litter you see. It's walking by a beggar on a Chicago street corner and offering a few dollars. It's mowing your neighbor's lawn on a hot day. It's donating to a cause that gets you fired up. Be a lamp, or a lifeboat or a ladder. Help someone's soul heal. Kindness is a warm fuzzy feeling and it is as close to magic as we're ever going to get. As The Beatles once said, all you need is love. Spread it like honey on toast, baby.
SELF-RELIABILITY - learn to trust it
Part of life is encountering obstacles and setbacks and learning how to deal with them. And with such adversity, we tend to turn outward for happiness, validation, answers. It's easy to lose sight of ourselves when life seems to pull us in. We are too hard on ourselves and each other. You are always going to find yourself faced with challenge of some sort, but you will learn with time and practice that you are indomitable and that your inner-strength is obnoxiously persistent. Ya get what ya give, and at the end of the day, you are who you want to be (just know that the person you end up being? Strong and capable as h*ck).
WORTH - know yours
Comparison is the thief of joy, and we are all contenders in the game. Muscle memory takes us to social media apps where we watch others' lives play out before us as if from a picture book. Desire leads us to want for everything we don't have, and for some reason—somehow—we manage to convince ourselves that our lives would be that much better if only our desires were suddenly fulfilled. I have post notifications on for any rare genie sightings! But the truth of the matter is that your happiness can only come from within. You hold so much potential and the world is fortunate to have you in it. Spice it up. With all your might, fight the game of comparison, because chances are, if you look for a problem you're going to find one. You gotta know that you're solid gold, baby. Take care of yourself. You move different when you know your value.
PERFECTION - not a real thing!
Say hi to good ol' Sisyphus- he's the disobedient guy who defied the Greek gods and is sentenced to a life of pushing a boulder to the top of a mountain only to have it fall back down just as he's about to reach the peak. Likewise, perfection is a game with no winners. The objective is simply one-upping yourself and others. It's tedious and quite frankly futile. Perfection isn't realistic and for us human beings, it's impossible. Striving for perfection places you in a box. It confines you and limits you from being your fullest, most extravagant self. You gotta have confidence in yourself. You gotta have a good sense of who you are and who you want to become. But when you inevitably find yourself stuck in a rut, accept where you are and then do something about it. Do not pity yourself when things aren't ace, and above all, do not be afraid to seek guidance or ask for help. Save your pride for the things you make happen, rather than what you fear might happen. This year, I want to live as authentically as I possibly can. I'm gonna be as fully me as I was designed to be.
PRESENCE - live in the now
Eyes constantly fixed on the future, anticipating what is to come. We're all guilty of it. I dream and worry and fantasize about my future. I mean, it's exciting stuff! But it's important to pull our heads from the clouds every once in a while, because the present is pretty dang cool, too. Dwelling on the past and wishing for what could have been isn't taking the time to reflect and be grateful for what got us to where we are. Living only for the future takes away from the enjoyment of the now, and if we aren't learning to slow down and smell the roses, that is precious time wasted. Life's a whirlwind, and we are in the eye of it. It's too short to live without truly living. Tune in every once in a while and you'll get to hear the beautiful melodies and harmonies of life.
NEGATIVITY - don't even think about it
"What matters most is how well you walk through the fire." —Charles Bukowski
Rewire your brain. Rather than meet challenge with a sour face and a closed mind, embrace it as an opportunity to learn something new and to grow. We tear each other down and belittle each other's dreams. But c'mon, we're all trying to live here. Don't waste your breath on negativity when doors are constantly opening and closing for you. It's easy to play the victim in your own story, but you and you alone hold the pen that writes your story. Make it a story worth retelling.
PATIENCE - it's a virtue, baby
"May the flowers remind us why the rain was so necessary." —Xan Oku
I am not very good at being patient. Whether it's waiting for my food to be brought out at a restaurant or waiting for a teacher to input a test grade, I find myself tapping my foot and grumbling about people's lack of urgency. Impatience is more than an unwillingness to wait on other people, though; it is also frustration with yourself. When I don't run a fast race or when I score low on a physics quiz, I hardly ever take the time to reflect. I rush into the next event with renewed gusto but not really a good sense of what I need in order to do better. Trusting the process of transition is an inner battle; we are so quick to criticize anything new that comes our way. Just like the moon, we go through phases of emptiness and misdirection to feel full again. Decisions made in haste and words spoken without reflection ah yes, we live in a fast-paced world and we are a people who seldom take the time to appreciate life's unfolding. By practicing patience, life becomes that much more precious. You begin to understand that everything comes to you at the appropriate time in just the right way. Adjusting to change and learning to release expectation is an uphill-type thang, but we're learning together. One step at a time.
GRATITUDE - look up
In all the chaos of busy schedules, meetings, deadlines, and commitments, it's a relatively simple task to forget to look up. I know I don't express my appreciation nearly as often as I should for the people in my life. I know I don't reflect enough on the events that have led me to who and where I am today. I know I need to give my thanks to God because it is through His grace and His faith that I am as successful and happy as I am. I fall short and I am forgetful and I take for granted the abundant blessings in my life. I am here now to tell you that you are blessed beyond belief. With this knowledge, go forth with an open heart, an open mind, and an open ear. Listen when people speak; be sincere in all that you do; lead with grace and know that you have a purpose. Be thankful for now and faithful for the future. A full life, a full heart, to love and be loved fully.
AUTHENTICITY - be unashamedly you
"You are your best thing." —Toni Morrison
A tiger does not try to hide its stripes. Orange doesn't care that it is an obnoxiously loud color. Lady Gaga isn't afraid to wear a meat dress. In a world that so often screams conformity, it is so very important to remain true to who you are. Speak your truth. Live out your visions according to you. Pave your own road. Be as you as you can be. Be a voice, not an echo (that should be your worst fear). After all, it's not anyone else's job to like you except yours.
AMBITION - just go 4 it, hunny!
Be a go getter. The power of choice works wonders in your life, and all these choices are entirely up to you. Once you make your decision, the whole universe kicks into high gear on your behalf. Be a trailblazer and let your ambition guide you. We only get this one life, so I say we live the heck out of it. Because if you don't, somoene else will. Yes, things have a tendency to gravitate, but you have to set things into motion. No one but you holds the power to dictate your life. When you embrace this, you become more of what you're capable of being. It's easy to downgrade your success and underestimate your abilities and fall into the trap of thinking you're not going about things right. Fill your cup 'til it's overflowing. Let's make it count. Cheers!
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Go out and do good, be love. God bless and may 2019 be full to the brim in all the best ways!
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